


Awesome or Not at All

by bitchtownexpress



Category: Glee
Genre: Bed-Wetting, Depression, Episode: s05e17 Opening Night, Episode: s06e01 Loser Like Me, Female Friendship, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Grief/Mourning, Love, Love/Hate, Multi, Past Character Death, Talking, The Lima Bean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:55:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29911740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitchtownexpress/pseuds/bitchtownexpress
Summary: Pezberry friendship. Oneshot at the beginning of season 6 before Rachel takes over the Glee club. Santana "doesn't" give her a pep talk.
Relationships: Finn Hudson/Santana Lopez, Rachel Berry/Finn Hudson, Rachel Berry/Finn Hudson/Santana Lopez, Rachel Berry/Santana Lopez
Kudos: 6





	Awesome or Not at All

Rachel hadn't left her bedroom in days.

She was miserable- all of her dreams were crushed. She couldn't believe the number of mistakes she had made.

She was so disappointed in herself.

Finn would be so disappointed in her.

Nobody even noticed that she was hiding away like a hermit. Her parents were getting divorced, her life was falling apart, and she felt so lost.

Then she heard a knock at the door.

"We're really doing this again?"

It was Santana, of course.

"What are you doing here?"

"Came home for a visit. The real question is who is this shell of a human I see in front of me? Because it's certainly not Rachel Berry."

Rachel started sobbing and Santana took a seat on her bed.

"I've let everyone down. Myself, my dads, my friends…"

There was a long pause. "...Finn…"

"You haven't let Finn down. You followed your heart, and that's what Finn has always wanted you to do."

"But my life is over. There's no coming back from this."

Santana sat up and turned to Rachel.

"Let me tell you a story about a little girl from Lima Heights. Her parents were high school sweethearts and her mom got pregnant with her at 18. She lived with her mom, dad, and Abuela because her parents were always working. Her dad was putting himself through med school and her mom was working overtime in a hotel and restaurant. She spent most of her time with her Abuela."

Rachel sighed. "I know you're talking about you," she said gently when Santana held up her right hand to stop her.

"Story's not over. So her Abuela was pretty decent most of the time, but every night she would berate the little girl. The problem was that the girl had a persistent bedwetting problem and it drove her Abuela crazy. Every night her Abuela would say things like 'okay garbage face, if you give me more bebe ropa sucia tonight I'm going to lose my mind. You need to stop being a burden on all of us. Your parents work hard to provide for you and I spend so much time dealing with you. Give more respect to your Abuela'.

Rachel gave Santana a puzzled look. "What's baby… rub... socks…"

"Spanish for soiled laundry. Can I go on?"

Rachel nodded.

"So this little girl was miserable and scared all the time. She wanted to see more of her parents and she wanted her Abuela to love her. Besides that, she started to realize that she might like girls. She'd chase boys around all the time at school but what she really wanted was for her girl friends to think she was cool. Her dad used to tell her to stop acting like a boy and would always say he thought it was weird how much she talked about her girl friends."

"Santana, this is sad," Rachel moaned. "What kind of a pep-talk is this?"

"Can it, Berry. I'm getting there."

Rachel let out another sigh and made sure Santana knew she was actively listening.

"When she was 8, she dressed up as Uncle Jesse for Halloween, much to her dad and Abuela's chagrin. Her mom stood up for her and all hell broke loose. What happened in her house wasn't much compared to what went on in the streets of Lima Heights, but it was still rough. So, her Abuela signed her up for dance classes. She liked dancing and learned how to hide her tomboy side and the crushes she had on girls. She got into fights all the time at school. When her dad finished med school, she moved to a new neighbourhood and was determined to reinvent herself."

Rachel put her hand on Santana's shoulder and Santana quickly shrugged it off.

"Relax, Berry. I'm not even done."

Rachel nodded again.

"At her new school, she was meaner than ever. She was trying to hide her past life, and her sexuality, that she didn't understand. When she was alone she'd blast the song "you oughta know" by Alanis Morisette in her room. She went through an eating disorder, witnessed too many violent crimes to count, and it felt like all odds were against her. But she was determined to make it. Be better than her circumstances."

"I know, Santana, and you did that." Rachel said. "There's no point."

Santana stood up.

"Rachel. I've known you my entire life. This is not you. You and me, we're like weeds. We can't be held down! And what did I tell you on your opening night?"

Rachel smiled and looked at her hands. "Awesome or not at all."

"You will come back from this, Rachel. You just need to quit moping around and feeling sorry for yourself. And I've got you. We'll get through this together."


End file.
